ALERT!!!
anyone who's not interested in [3bd's] crappy talks ..
or any crappy talks for that matter ..
please turn around, trust me, its For your own good.
I'm just spilling things out .. coz its kindda crowded here .. in my little head .. with thoughts and feelings. its starts to suck, big time!!
I don't know how to go through this .. few things happened to me .. all of them at the same time ..
i don't know where to start ..
i lost my path in the world of thinking .. walking in the darkness thats what it feels .. and sadly .. i can't see any dawn in the near future ..
lets list things .. coz its the first time i have a normal/logical way of thinking things out ..
- the worst of the worst happened at the worst time ever ..
- the passing time of nothingness.
- back to smoking (which is one of the fewest things that keeps me sane for the time being)
- i can't access my territory of dreams any more, bad thing .. very bad thing ..
i want to discuss the second one, since the other ones i kindda made peace with ..
What is wrong with me?
i've made all the possible preparations i can to isolate myself and starts writing in my thesis ..
quite mahjoob ..
ceased my blog activity, with posting and commenting ..
ceased my school activity, and stopped worrying about those little monsters i teach ..
smoking again ..
i even started to go to uni. everyday, thinking its a working place so I'll work there ..
and the result, NOTHING!!!!
I'm still at Step 1
i want to have some more courage, determination, life to work for ..
times feels like nothing, passes by my without me even sensing it, or feeling responsible for losing it.
OK, i have my goal, i still have the same goal ever since i started this life-project, but it starts to feel far away, not the way i saw it few months ago ..
I'm feeling weak, very weak, and disorganized.
You know what, thats my problem, i'm too much emotional, too much caring and neat.
i've been lazy for as far as i can remember, but there was always this thing about me, when i feel the danger, i can do the impossible, the difference her, that i feel the major danger, still i'm careless about it ..
am i turning into an ambitious-less guy????
OMG! if i am, then i'm as close to death as ever!
i don't have nothing defines me as my high ambitions, and my high expectations for my future. if i lost that then i lost my identity ..
OK!
i promise, me before everybody else, tomorrow is a NEW DAY.
TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY!!!!
PS1: dear friends, don't mind me, this is not actually a post, i'm just thinking out loud.
PS2: i don't wanna access my blog for a long time. i need to do so, i need to be off life, for me to bring my life back. i need to die, for me to feel the joy of living again .. i need to die. and i will.
bye bye for now, until the better days come, bye bye.
10 comments:
I am not going to reply thoroughly to your thoughts. Just want you to change the way you think.
You should always say "TODAY is a new day". Don't leave thing for tomorrow. You never know what tomorrow would bring with him.
The other thing is don't rely on any extrapolation based on the past experience. The process of "life" is highly non-linear with a lot of uncertainties (I hope you know what I am talking about). What you used to do yesterday may not be possible tomorrow.
For the thesis issue: Start by sketching a rough plan. Put down your main ideas without much details. You don't need to write a thesis today. Come up with a skeleton of a thesis. Then you will find yourself putting more flesh and fancy stuff as you go. I am sure in no time you will be there. Start NOW (don't leave this till tomorrow) even with one sentence!
More important for me, use larger fonts if you want me to read your posts ;-)
Good luck.
loool Saleh I like your last comment :D
Za3boor,
Now you feel like tried and frustrated because you are thinking of the long list that you have to do. It is go to think about it but on aside thing about the success feeling the happiness and the proud at the end. Sure this will make you much better.
and also think about el 7alawan elli 3am nestannah mannak :D
Wish you all the success soon :)
يا رااجل
وظعك عادي
وحله سهل
كل ما هنالك إنك بحاجه لريستارت
وتفريغ لكمشة الشحنات السالبة
المخزنة في تلافيف دماغك
وهان بيجي علاج زوربا الفعّال
الخميس تعال
وراح تفرّغ كل شي
وراح ترجع الرام عندك عالزيرو
والسي بي يو آكتيف
والبَص هايبر
والـ آو أس خالي من البقز
يعني فرمطه عالأصلي
بستناك
يوم الخميس
لا تنسى
وقد أزعر من أذعر يا أزعر
Saleh
i loved your comment
it was more than helpful ..
in fact, i started to say "Today is the new day", thanks buddy, for the your advices, coz i really took them .. :)
and as a matter of fact, i have some experience in quantum mechanics .. :ch:
as for the fonts, I'm using Windows live writer from now on, for batter results .. :-o:
LioneSS
the brighter thoughts, is what i need, i hope this will last long ..
i am looking to the full half of the cup these .. lets hope it will last .. :)
ente e6lobe ayya 7ilwan biddik yeah ... mo 3ala 3aini .. :tb:
thnx for passing by my dear friend ..
its you all, who make the life better and easier .. :give:
sfo
بدي .. بدي .. بدي
ريستارت .. انا بدي
:rgs:
و الخميس انشاء الله جاي .. اذا مش الخميس
بكون
.. الجمعه
:yai:
وك سنحك .. اصلا الحياة بدونكو زباله
:-o:
لا
إسمع
حاول تيجي الخميس بدري شوية
بلكت قعدنالنا قعدة خلاوي بالأول
مع الرفاق قبل ما نروح عالسهرة
sfo
وك ما هي الحسبة هيك
انو اذا زبطت الجيه
من بعد المدرسه .. عالعاصمة على طول
حوالي الـ 3:00 - 3:30 بكون هناك
وبنقعد القعدة اللي بدك ياها
:ch:
انه بس قول انشالله
:d
إن شاء الله
وأنا بكون بالحسين
بحدود 3:30
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